I first learned about anxiety in a health class, where I understood it as when someone has feelings of worry, like a bee or wasp flying around next to you, but the bee or wasp isn’t actually there. So, to me, anxiety was something silly people do, they worry about things that aren’t there. Not realizing at all that I was a “silly person” that was being crippled by anxiety.

I made the connection with the help of a counselor who also helped me accept that I had depression. She explained that a general anxiety disorder is when you can’t help having anxiety about life and the world in general. There isn’t even an imagined bee, so I’m even sillier than what I thought anxiety was. If there is actually something that is causing you to worry, it’s stress. Anxiety is when you may not have a logical reason to worry, but you’re worried anyway, you can imagine a hundred possibilities that are reasons to worry and the probability doesn’t make it less worrisome. 

I’ve since learned that I get so much anxiety that it causes my depression. Luckily I’ve learned that anxiety can be managed. I am a logical person with an illogical disorder, so I can sometimes battle it with logic, but that doesn’t always work. When I’m worried about the future, my logical response it to plan. So I go all out making plans, down to the details. But then, whenever I feel any worry about the future I’m planning for it, and neglecting the present. Which doesn’t actually help the future go well, in case you were wondering.

Often times, anxiety is best managed with little baby steps in the present. Focusing intensely on the current task and doing a lot of self-talk. It seems strange to talk to yourself, making you feel crazy, but at times it’s the only way to keep yourself from going crazy. Telling yourself what you’re doing and what you’re going to focus on for the next while. Sometimes telling yourself that there isn’t anything you can do right now about the future, so you’re going to put the worry aside and enjoy the moment.